Although I find it hard to do myself, I think that lament is one of the core things that is important for a believer to acknowledge and give space for. Like repentance and confession, lament is a natural response to being in God’s presence, being in God’s word, knowing God’s heart, and hearing God’s voice….
I recently had a birthday. The second birthday I’ve “celebrated” without my husband. That’s how I track time now. Before he died. After he died. That’s not grief or mourning. It’s just the way it is. Keeping track of time by his death comes as naturally to me as breathing. Many don’t get it, but…
The poem “Mourners” by Ted Kooser,1 about folks meeting at a funeral, ends with the following lines: They came this afternoon to say goodbye, but now they keep saying hello and hello, peering into each other’s faces, slow to let go of each other’s hands. In this poem, we see the longing of the mourners to…
I’ve always been a crier—the one who teared up at a sappy movie or tearjerker book ending, at sweet moments and frustrating disappointments. But I never knew a body could cry so many tears until my husband died suddenly. There had been no notice, no sign that anything was wrong with him. On a normal…
The helplessness hurt my heart. My best friend’s healthy 39-year old husband had been sick for less than a week when Covid landed him on life-support. He’s a pastor with a young family. Surely God will heal him. Thousands of us prayed. Days later, a helicopter flew him to another state, where a hospital offered…
Dear Readers, In my 60 years of life, I have lived in 11 places, including my college apartment and a couple of short-term apartments: one when I moved to another city, one when I got married, and one when we moved to a new state. I’ve been in my current house for 22 years. My…
Those of us who are people of faith tend to worship our place alongside God. Sure, we love Jesus, but in the suburbs we’d like our slice of the American dream too. We want our Bible studies alongside our Target splurges. It’s not wrong to appreciate beauty, to buy things, or want our homes to…
Even when life is good, during seasons when all seems right with the world, I sometimes still experience unnamed longings. They are deep, elusive feelings, as if there is something that I know I need but is not within reach. When I sit with them, I come to understand that these longings are not for…
“Say it again,” they urged me. I felt like an animal in a cage, surrounded by the watchful eyes of gleeful children who poked at its helpless form with a stick. My fellow college-aged camp counselors hailed mostly from Canada and the Northeastern United States. Much of the kitchen crew came from the United Kingdom….
When I was 15, I met God in a Vermont meadow. I was riding a horse bareback in the July sun, feeling his warm hide and coarse hair under my shorts-clad legs. I was in the middle of the meadow, which gradually sloped down into a glittering spring-fed lake. The meadows were high and uncut…
I’m a homebody. Or rather a “housebody.” My preferred place is indoors, especially at my own house. But what if, in God’s plan, he meant me for more? I love being in my kitchen when it’s filled with food, drink, and conversation. I love spending a quiet evening playing games or doing jigsaw puzzles beside…
Today I’m an astronaut. I need to shuttle beyond the orbit of my block. I launch east from my home planet: turning left, then right. I cycle through a few green lights, making sure to stop by the house with a train-shaped Little Free Library. Trains also travel to car-free universes. I discover a Golden…
We’ve done more than a few home renovations. One involved our kitchen and jack hammering up our floor to move water pipes. The other involved our master bathroom and punching through drywall to again, move water pipes. My husband got our boys involved in this particular demo project, giving them thick gloves and telling them…
When I was in medical school, one of my classmates came to the mind-boggling realization that after four years of college and two years in medical school, he didn’t really like medicine after all. What he thought would be a life he would love turned out to be nothing but trouble. By that time, he…