Dear Reader, I am blessed by a rare collection of close girlfriends. Most of us have known each other for more than a quarter century. Two of us were even in each other’s weddings more than 30 years ago. There are seven of us, and we are from diverse parts of the country and we…
One Sunday morning as we were spilling out of the church doors, I spotted a friend I hadn’t seen in years—a college buddy I’d known long before I was married. I swooped across the courtyard and was met with one of the giant, warm hugs I remembered so well. Two seconds later—still mid-hug—I began to…
My mother-in-law has a gift. She can talk to anyone. I once went to an estate sale with my mother-in-law and one of my sisters-in-law. We had just stepped inside the front door when my mother-in-law paused and smiled at another woman also walking in the door. That woman smiled back, and the two began…
“Imagine them both 20 years from now,” she prompts, “sprawled out on your couch, balding with beer bellies.” We chuckle as we weave about the rocks and roots on our path, but her next sentence grinds us to an abrupt halt: “Who would you choose?” Elizabeth and I lock eyes. This sixteen-year-old had wrangled me—a…
One of my favorite places to experience glimmers of heaven is through the friendships we’re offered here on earth. When I think of the ways that all nations will come together and what it will be like to experience “the healing of the nations,” (Revelation 22:2) many friendships come to mind. Finding Commonality First, I…
I recently ended a thirty-year-long friendship. This is not something I’ve done before. Most of the friendships I’ve lost over the years have faded under the usual circumstances: Time, physical distance, and life transitions gradually nudged us apart. A few friends have passed away. But this—telling a longtime friend what I needed from her, and…
Later this summer, my husband and I will pack up our two small children and several suitcases with what feels like half our possessions and board a plane destined for the other side of the country. At this stage in our family’s life, I wouldn’t normally volunteer myself for such a big trip, but in…
“In a perfect Friendship…each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together; each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the…
Every day on our farm, I engage in the ritualistic task of moving manure to our compost pile. Cleaning the barn is a familiar and comforting chore, allowing me to transform something objectionable and just plain stinky to a tangible benefit: growing the nurturing fertilizer of the future. Unlike some daily rituals in my life, it…
Pain is a strange companion of ours, whether we like it or not. There’s pain in our very welcome to this world, we fall and scrape our knees as we learn to walk, baby teeth have to be pulled in order for permanent teeth to show up and do their work. Seeds must shatter for…
“I want to keep it handy in case I need it,” she said, matter-of-factly. She wasn’t talking about a flashlight. Not a package of tissues. Not a cell phone—they hadn’t been invented in 1978. She was talking about Isaiah 55. “I liked it,” she went on. “So I memorized it.” “Come, all you who are…
I remember the first day of kindergarten and meeting my best friend at that time. The friendship came easily; our paths intertwined due to our classroom seating chart, which was organized based upon students’ last names. This organization carried over into the lunch line as we were organized alphabetically. We were always near each other….
“Hi Erika. We missed you last week. How are you?” I greeted my friend as she arrived at the Toastmasters meeting. “I’m fine.” Erika’s words tried to communicate health and happiness, but the locked mouth and downcast eyes spoke louder than the sounds that came out of her lips. Erika definitely was not fine. Through…
When it comes to developing friendships, are you using building blocks or wrecking balls? If you want to build strong, authentic, and intimate connections, you need to avoid the three wrecking balls that will destroy a friendship. LONGING FOR FRIENDSHIP Over the past few years, I have had the wonderful opportunity and privilege to speak…