Doll Houses. Ghetto houses. Foster homes. Group homes. Children’s homes. So many houses. So few homes. I stand in front of a dilapidated building in an urban neighborhood. Its porch is sagging to the right, the railing on the stoop has long been broken off, leaving a jagged, rusted stump jutting up from the crumbling concrete…
Prep time: Lifelong Level of difficulty: Challenging Recipe serves: Limitless The first ingredient is people. More than one person is required for the recipe to turn out correctly, although substitutions are possible: non-blood relatives, people from different ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, or friends who morphed into family. Vigorously mix all these ingredients together and…
He left a cold, wordless goodbye in the garage. We’ve tried making sense of it ever since. Unanswered questions are always one cruel part of suicide’s trauma. The puzzle of intention never entirely fits together; there is no straight, unimpeachable line from A to B. In my brother’s case, we were only able to piece…
Five years ago, my estranged mother passed away, leaving me to navigate the grief of our lost and unhealed relationship with little assistance. In order to make peace with a broken past and learn to forgive, I collected a list of unanswered questions that went to the grave with her. If I knew the answers…
It was one of those mornings that I awoke to my own second guessing. I was not sure why I agreed to take a three-hour round trip to a church in a small town on the New Hampshire border, population of about 12,000, with only 4.39 percent people of color. A friend called me brave….
I froze in horror, humiliated, torn between anger and tears. My leader stared, eyes wide open, deer-in-the-headlights style. Someone had just made it abundantly clear they hated me—right in the middle of a room packed with people. The entire group stilled, mouths agape. I don’t know why they hated me; they chose to spew their…
Sammie, a regular attendee at the women’s Bible study I led, invited me to lunch. I had wanted to get to know her better, and I was looking forward to our time. When the waitress arrived, Sammie didn’t order anything, which seemed a little odd, since she had issued the invite. It should have tipped…
When someone wants to end a relationship, she or he may say, “I just need some space.” But when I told my kids I needed a little space from their father, they understood I wasn’t trying to break up. Jerry was the love of my life, but at 85 his health was failing, his memory…
In early November 2005 my mom began a journey that changed us both. She got into her little car and began to drive to Denver International Airport, 60 miles from her home, a route she had driven thousands of times during her 69 years. But this time she faced a particular challenge. She told me after…
She lost all her memory in drops of misplaced keys forgotten bills a disconnected phone. Her makeup grew heavy. Pristine eyeliner, now charcoal cakes stacked on summer tan base, claret jacket, mauve sweater out of season. “You’ll need to wrap your neck now that it’s starting to turn cold, dear.” As we inch into April….
If the movies are to be believed, you’ll know who to marry at the moment you share that significant look and a shot of chemistry tells you—unquestioningly—that this is the one for you. You will look back and say “that was the moment I knew.” This conviction, of course, would be confirmed by a swell…
I’m venting, pounding my palms on the car steering wheel as I drive the 20 minutes to a Franciscan center where my church is hosting a day retreat. I’m resentful, mad at my husband, and mad at myself because I feel he talked me into something I didn’t want to do. This keeps happening. It’s…
From the corner of my eye I watch Jerry shuffle out of the Carpenter’s Lodge into the chill November darkness. From a pile of firewood near the kitchen door he carefully selects four or five logs. Some are split. Some are short but whole. His rough workman’s hands choose those short enough to fit into…
“What can we do to help?” friends asked me as my husband lay dying and soon after he passed. At first I didn’t know how to answer. I’m still feeling my way through early stage-grief from the inside out. At first I didn’t know what I needed, but others sometimes recognized a need and…