Technically my friend Laura was speaking the words, but I started to get the feeling they were words right from God to me. I was at my leadership group last week, and Laura was describing her five day silent retreat. Her goal was to eliminate as many distractions as possible so God could speak to her.
The days were pretty uneventful, no earth-shattering revelations. But at the end of her time, she was experiencing this truth in a new and powerful way: God is always, always present and waiting to be with us. And she came to the realization that when she is distracted by life, leadership and ministry, she misses out on being with him, experiencing his tenderness and catching what he is doing.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she was speaking. She was describing something my soul was thirsty for. I had come to that group with some leadership challenges. I shared them with the group and all the women were gracious and encouraging. But really, what could they do to help me? The challenges were mine and mine alone.
I came back after the group and didn’t turn my computer on. Instead, I sat down and wrote out several questions for God. Things like: “What am I afraid of in this next season of leadership?” and “What do you want to say to me?” and “Why am I on the verge of tears right now?” Then I just sat with him and my leadership challenges.
And I waited.
Pretty soon, I felt my spirit being comforted. I felt acceptance from God. My leadership challenges didn’t seem so big. I even dozed off for a bit (sometimes I just get so tired!). It was a very sweet time with Jesus.
I didn’t get big answers to all my questions, but I did sense that God was inviting me into more times like this. And I’m going to accept his invitation. Not relying alone on my typical quiet time of reading Scripture, journaling and worshiping, but adding times of just sitting quietly with Jesus. I’m honestly not at a place yet where I can do a five day retreat. Instead, I have been trying to make space every day and it has been like a breath of fresh air.
How about you? How do you bring your leadership challenges to God?